Breathe Again
by Sugarbear16
Summary: This is the sequel to Wherever you Will Go. They have returned to the city and now its time for Kate to return to n she do it with the help of Castle or will it be more then she is ready to take on?
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: This is the sequel to Wherever you Will go, this picks up right where the other one left off. **

_The car is parked_

_The bags are packed_

_And what kind what kind of heart doesn't look back? _

_All I have_

_All I need_

_He is the air I would kill to breathe_

_Hold my love in his hand_

_Still I'm searching for something_

_Out of breath I am left hoping someday I will breathe again_

_ -Sara Bareillies "Breathe Again"_

The cool clean crisp air of the country was long gone now as they approached the city. The trees on the side of the road grew further and further apart as they neared their destination. You could already hear the sounds of the busy city life in the background. Kate sighed, god she was really going to miss the peaceful bliss of her father's cabin.

Kate sat in the front of seat of the car, her head pressed to the glass of the window. It was cool and soothing to her right now. They were less then twenty minuets from home now and everything was hitting her all at once. She breathed out trying to calm her racing heart as they approached the city limits. She had been doing well; she had made a lot of progress at their time away from the city. But now they were back and it was time to face the reality of everything she had left behind.

"Take me to the 12th." Kate said never lifting her head.

"You don't have to go back today you still have another week. I think maybe you should take it." He suggested.

"I don't need another week. I need to do this now. I need this to be over." She said.

"Kate, you don't have anything to prove to anyone." 

"Please just do it, just take me there Castle."

"Alright." He agreed.

They pulled up into the parking garage of the 12th. "Are you coming?" Kate asked.

"No, not yet. I have to go see Alexis and you need to meet your new Captain."

"Right." She said disappointed. She knew he was right, that this was something she needed to do alone. Plus after weeks away Castle really needed to see his family. Alexis and his mother had been nothing but understanding and supportive of Castle's choice to stay with her while she recovered from her near death experience.

"Hey" He reached over taking her hand in his when he saw the sad look in her eyes, "you are going to be alright".

"Thanks." She said. Castle kissed the back of her hand, "go get them tiger" he said with a smile.

Was the elevator ride always this long? Was it always this small? What if it breaks down and I get stuck in here? All these thoughts rushed through Kate's mind as she waited for the doors to open and release her to her destination of the 12th. She ran her fingers through her hair and leaned against the back wall. She could feel her heart pounding in her chest, her pulse was racing. She closed her eyes and counted to ten and she waited and waited and waited for what seemed like hours. The doors dinged and indicated she had finally made it to her stop. She did a quick survey of the crowded room before they noticed her standing there. Espo was the first who noticed her.

"Looks who is back." He called and everyone started clapping and welcoming her back.

"What are you doing here; you're not do back till next week?" Espo asked.

"I got tired of sitting still." She said.

"How is the new Captain?" She asked.

They both shrugged their shoulders. "Guess I will find out soon enough." Kate said as she pulled out her form she had stating she was fit to return to work.

Kate knocked on the door of what use to be Montgomery office. The woman looked up from her papers, "Detective Beckett you are not due back till next week what can I do for you?" She asked.

"I have been cleared to return to work." Kate says as she all but slams the paper down on the captain's desk. Gates picks the paper up glancing over it quickly.

"Well in that case welcome back. You are still going to have to recertify before you get your gun back." Gates informs her.

Ryan and Espo watched carefully as Beckett came storming out of Gates office.

"How did it go?" Ryan asked.

"I want my gun."

"You know you have to recertify standard procedures." Espo said.

Kate gave Espo her best go to hell look before she turned and walked off. "You better watch out are your going to be first on her list of things to shoot when she gets her gun back." Ryan said.

It was after one that afternoon when Castle came strolling into the 12th. The first thing he noticed when he entered was Kate was not at her desk, he scanned the room quickly looking for his partner. She was nowhere to be found.

"I see you heard Beckett's back." Espo said pointing to the two coffees he held in his hand.

"Um, yeah she told me she was coming back today. I thought I'd bring her favorite help her through her first day back."

"Uh uh." The boys said at the same time.

"Where is she?" Castle questioned.

"The firing range she has to recertify before she can have her gun back" Ryan explained.

"Thanks." Castle replied.

She stood at the table where her gun was laid out in two pieces. "Alright Kate, you can do this" She said encouraging herself. Why was this so hard? How many damn times as she put a clip in her damn gun and fired into a target? Why is it so hard now? With shaking hands she removed her gun, slid the clip in the place and lifted it to the target. Her hands were shaky, but she ignored it. She counted to three then unloaded the clip in the paper target, hitting in the center every time. She exhaled when she accomplished her mission then quickly sat down on the bench.

Castle watched her from the open glass of the outside room. She sat with her head in her hands. This was a look he knew all to well, this was a look that said she was taking on more then she could manage. Castle had really wanted Kate to take the extra time she still had, but you know how stubborn Kate was and once she had her mind made up no one was going to be able to change it. So he decided it was better for him to support her, then to try and convince her otherwise.

"Hey the boys said I would find you down here; brought you something." Castle said he handed her the coffee.

"Some things never change." She said with a smile taking the coffee from his hands.

"Same goes for you." He said as he motioned with his head to the target she had just emptied her clip in.

"Looks like I still got it." She said. She silently thanked God; he wasn't there to see her momentary freak out before she fired. She knew if he had seen that he would have done everything in his power to take her home. Hell, she is almost certain he would go to Gates himself if it came down to that.

"How are you doing?" He asked as he bumped his shoulder against hers.

"I am holding it together…I think." She admitted.

"It is going to get easier." He said.

"Yeah, I am sure you are right." Kate said. Kate reached into her pocket and pulled her phone out when she had felt it buzzing against her leg.

"We have a lead." Kate replied.

"You sure you are ready for this?"

"There is only one way to find out." Kate explained.

Kate grabbed her gun off the table and turned her attention back to Castle. "You coming?"

"Yeah." He said as he stood and followed Kate out of the room

_**A/N: Going to try to keep the updates coming as soon as possible if it takes a while in between forgive me we have family down from out of town for the holidays. **_


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Thank you to everyone who is now following and reading my sequel it means so much to me. Here is the next chapter. **

They all stood outside the factory guns in hand ready to move in when the time came. To any on looking observer they would see three agents ready to move, but not him, not Castle he saw what no one else did, what she tried to keep hidden. Castle noticed the way her stance was off; the way she favored her left side now. He saw the slight shakiness in her hands as she tired to hold the gun steady.

Castle walked up directly behind her and whispered in her ear "You can do this".

She closed her eyes when she felt his breath on her skin just below her ear. A slight shiver ran through her body, and this too did not go unnoticed to Castle. He placed his hand on her hip; the one that was leaning against the wall where no one else could see. He felt her sigh and felt her body trying to relax for him. She turned and met his eyes briefly. He nodded his head to her; she did the same in return silently letting him know that she was ready for this.

Epso approached Castle and Beckett, "He is inside you ready to move?" He asked her.

"Yep." She replied.

Espo nodded his head and moved back to the other side of the door that they were standing outside of. He locked eyes with Beckett and nodded his head once again, she sighed counted to the three and motioned with her hands for them to move in. In three seconds flat they were moving in to the factory. Once the door was down Beckett indicated that Espo and Ryan go left and she and Castle broke to the right.

Castle stayed close behind her, closer then he usually did. He had complete faith in Beckett, but he knew she needed him now more then ever even if she would not admit it. They had only been in the factory about five minuets when the suspect pulled his gun on Beckett. Beckett turned quick on the draw with her gun pointing at him. Her hands were shaking so bad Castle was afraid she was going to drop her gun.

"Drop the gun." Kate shouted. The man made no move to let his weapon go. Beckett was frozen she just couldn't bring herself to pull that trigger. All she could think about was the man who pulled the trigger on her that day she nearly died.

"Beckett." Castle said moving up behind her even closer.

"Drop the gun or will drop you." Espo shouted as he came running in between Beckett and the suspect. When Ryan and Espo had the suspect in cuffs and were leading him out of the building Beckett dropped her gun to the ground.

Wordlessly Castle moved up behind her and took her in his arms. Kate turned and wrapped her arms around his neck. "Castle"

"Shh its ok, it's ok" He said. He pulled back and looked at her tear streaked face. He reached out and wiped all the traces of her tears away. Castle bent down, picked her gun up and handed it back to her. Beckett took a few moments to get herself together. When she was sure it looked as if she hadn't just been crying in Castle arms she headed out of the factory to rejoin the boys.

The clock on the stove declared it was 11:37. This day had been long and hard and damn near impossible to get through. She didn't know how she was supposed to face tomorrow when she couldn't even fall asleep tonight. She had taken a bath about an hour ago and thought it would help her relax but it didn't. Nothing seemed to be helping her let go of the stress of this day. She was tired and cranky and all she wanted right now was him.

Kate had talked herself out of calling him six times now. She knew as soon as she did he would come rushing over here at this late hour just to sit with her. That is one of the many reason she loved him. A gentle knock on the front door brought her back to reality and out of her thoughts.

"Kate it's me." His voice came from the other side of the door. She smiled and opened the door. "Sorry did I wake you?" He asked taking in her appearance.

"No, I can't sleep." She admitted.

"I had a feeling you would be up, can I come in?" He questioned.

"Of course you can." Kate said as she moved away from the door and allowing him into her apartment.

"Long day?" He asked.

"You should know you were there." She replied.

"Ouch" he said

"Castle I am sorry, I am just tired and aggravated right now."

"What can I do?" Castle asked. He walked over to Kate till they were standing face to face. "Hold me." She said as she laid her head down on his shoulder. Rick wrapped his arms around Kate tightly. He pulled back, reaches down and takes her hand leading her down the hallway to her room. He paused at the foot of her bed, turning his attention to her. Kate slipped her robe off her shoulders and made her way to the left side of the bed.

"Will you stay with me just until I fall asleep then you can go if you have somewhere else you need to be." Kate asked.

Rick climbed in the opposite side of the bed and laid down with his chest pressing against her back. He wrapped his arms around her waist. "There is no where else I'd rather be. Sleep I will be here when you wake up." He said as he kissed her cheek gently.


	3. Chapter 3

Castle woke first the next morning with Kate's warm body still safely nestled against him. He leaned over and gently kissed her shoulder. "Morning." She said as she rolled over to face him.

"Good morning." He replied brushing the hair out of her eyes. "Feel better now?" He asked.

"Much" She replied.

"Kate, I really think you should consider taking some more time of work just until you're fully ready to return."

"Castle I am ready."

"And yesterday, what happened yesterday?" He questioned her.

"It was just a hang up I froze."

"And what if the boys hadn't been there or me? What would do you think would have happened to you then? Kate I am not doubting you please don't think for a second that I am. I just don't want to see you get hurt." He explained.

"I already did." She said sadly.

"Even more reason you should be careful Kate. This is your life we are talking about. Do you know what it was like to watch you die in that ambulance? To have the blood of the one you love covering your hands? I do, it's not something I ever want to go through again. Kate if I lost you..."

"Shh… I am not going anywhere." She said as she brought their lips together. Castle moved his hands to her hips pulling her body to his. Kate using her police training quickly flung one of her legs of her his hip and pulled herself on top of him.

"Kate…"

"I am not going anywhere Rick I am all yours." Kate said.

Castle sat up in the bed so the two of them were eye to eye. He reached out and gently cradled her face in his hands, "I love you." He said.

"I love you too." Kate admitted. Castle leaned in kissing her softly on the lips. Kate tightened her arms around his neck and deepened the kiss. Kate trailed her tongue over his bottom lip silently asking for accesses his mouth further. Never one for denying Beckett anything she wants Castle granted her what she was asking for her.

Castle grabbed the hem of her shirt and only breaking contact with her lips long enough to discard her shirt. Castle took in the sight of her before him for the first time. The first thing his were drawn to was the scar that nearly cost her, her life. Kate watched him and knew exactly where his thoughts had gone. She ran her fingers through his hair; she reached out taking his left hand and placing it over the bullet wound. "I am not going anywhere I am here with you." She explained.

Castle moved his hand that was still resting on her hip up gently until it was resting just at her ribs where the surgical incision tore through her flawless skin and saved her life. There eyes locked and there was nothing else in the world that mattered right now but the two of them. For ones single moment time stopped, nothing but them existed. Kate finally knew what it felt like, what everyone had always talked about. She finally understood love.

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who is reading and following this story**.


	4. Chapter 4

The room was silent, there was nothing to be heard but the buzzing life of the city outside. Kate was laying her on stomach, facing the man she loved while he was tracing patterns of complete randomness over her back. She closed her eyes and smiled at him. She never thought she would feel this way again, now that she thought about she is not sure she ever felt this way about anyone before now. Kate rolled to her left side so she was now face to face with Castle, she whimpered at this movement.

"You ok?" He asked reaching out to her side that had her scar.

"Yeah, just sore still." She replied.

"Sorry."

"Don't be I am not." She said as she leaned over and kissed him.

"How about I make us some breakfast before we get to work?"

"That sounds great." She said with a satisfied smile.

Kate watched as Rick climbed out of bed and made his way into the kitchen. She loved the way he moved around so comfortably in her place. For the longest time Kate had always thought of her getting shot as the end of the life she once knew, and maybe it was. Maybe this was her chance to start over, to be more then she is. Everything in the world happens for a reason even if we don't understand the reason at the time; we have to patience and believe everything will work out just the way it supposed to be. Kate knew for the first time in a long time this is where she was supposed to be. It took her a long time to realizes this but with the help of the one person who had always been there for her, believed in her, and never gave up she found it, she found the strength to learn to breathe again.

_Open arms next to you,_

_My secrets become your truth_

_All I have all I need_

_He is the air I would kill to breathe_

_I am left hoping someday I will breathe again_

_I will breathe again_

**A/N: Thank you for everyone who followed this story. I wanted to leave it at this with a happy ending. I am currently writing an AU fic called Free Falling check it out if you have time . Love you all **


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